She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
