Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
