There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
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