Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
