Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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