You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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