when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
