I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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