Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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