is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize