i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
