garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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