So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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