soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
