He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
