think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize