People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
