So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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