Me. At least after what I've been through.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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