having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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