I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Life is so much better after having sex.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
