So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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