Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
