i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
