So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
