...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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