Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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