Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
