I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
