i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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