If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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