Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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