trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
