When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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