You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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