Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
