I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
