He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
