We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
