Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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