Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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