i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
