I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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