I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
