Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
