He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
