Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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