No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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