im drinking this country out of the recession.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
