i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
